snowy road - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

I’m gonna ring that groundhog’s neck

We’ve had a relatively mild winter here in my neck of the woods.  That was until that pompous groundhog just HAD to put his two cents in and muck up the weather pattern.  No sooner did he see his shadow last Thursday, then the snow started to fall, finally culminating today with another 12 inches.…

bubbles - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

We have a situation

I’ve been sidelined with a nasty sinus infection since New Year’s Eve.  Yesterday, I finally got a little spring back into my step and was able to do some grocery shopping and run a few errands. However, that was enough to exhaust my entire body.  Achy and tired, I thought I’d take a nice soak…

john denver - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

When I start to lose my sh*t…

Going to my Lyme Disease doctor isn’t fun. I’ve never come out of the exam room skipping like a school and twirling my hair, for the simple fact that chronic Lyme Disease is a bitch.  No… it’s more than that.  It’s a bitch on steroids… with an attitude problem and a set of brass knuckles.…

burned bagel - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

Burned bagels and other nonsense

I should have went right back to bed this morning after I fumbled my toothbrush, sending it ricocheting off the sink and into the toilet. Instead, I stumbled through one debacle after another.  After I fished out my toothbrush, I incinerated a bagel in the toaster because I was trying to kill a bee that…

menopause - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

The hell fires of menopause

After spending another sleepless night due to night sweats, seemingly fueled by the eternal fires of hell, I drug my fatigued and sweaty body out of bed to face the day.  I turned on the TV to watch the news, and instead, was greeted by a commercial for a menopause supplement.  The spokesperson cheerfully told…

dirt road - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

Dear Range Rover Driver

Dear Range Rover Driver, Thank you for frantically waving your hands at me and banging your steering wheel while we waited at the red light that clearly stated NO TURN ON RED. I also appreciated you tailgating me while simultaneously texting on your cell phone and trying to shove a hamburger in your mouth. You were…

uncle leo from seinfeld - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

BRAmageddon: The Sequel – A Tale of Two Boobs

After being side-lined for several weeks with every virus and bacteria known to the medical establishment, my first order of business was to continue my quest for a well-fitting bra. Once again, I made the long trip to the mall.  Consumed by desperation and a bra with no support, I decided that maybe it was…

boots and gloves - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

A little sh*t never hurt no one

It was the old timer up the road on the other end of the phone line. “Where the hell is your husband?” he demanded to know. “Same place he is everyday at this time… at work,” I barked back. “Get up here right now and bring a flashlight and the roof rake (a 10 ft…

boots - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

When all else fails… buy shoes

After going through BRAmageddon, I was feeling a little worse for the wear.  Nothing will give you a case of the body blues, like bra shopping.  It’s quite a downer, looking in the mirror at yourself, and seeing that your boobs look like ten miles of bad road because they’re all jacked up in an…

bras - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

BRAmageddon

The bra situation has become desperate lately.  Most have lost their powers of containment, and are tenuously hanging on by the last hook and eye.  It was time for the “Try and Find a Bra Without Breaking Down in the Fitting Room” annual marathon. Bra shopping is one of my least favorite activities – it’s…

common sense - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

Common sense is not so common

I made an effort last night to catch up on the important news of the last several days.  As I perused, pondered and poured over the disconcerting happenings around the world, this piece of paramount publishing appeared before my eyes… 18 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina Seriously? Were we all that uneducated…

defense - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

Just call me Mean Joe Greene

Picture it.  Thursday night, 2016.  There I was, busy chopping and slicing and dicing.  Trying my best to get supper made before everyone came into the kitchen whining about being hungry.  When suddenly, my daughter came bursting through the backdoor and shouted… COW IN THE LAWN!!! Those of you that live on a farm with…

apple cider - TheFarmersInTheDell.com

Hard apple cider and a cat named Mr. Sh*thead

Around here, autumn is heralded with the making of hard cider.  The apples are pressed.  The top secret ingredients are mixed in with the apple juice.  Then, barrels upon barrels of cider are buried in the ground to work their magic over a year or more. If you are a hard cider master brewer, the…