Being a mom comes with those inevitable consequences, like that 10 lbs of “baby weight” that you still have 20 years after giving birth.
Or, everything that you own gradually becoming the property of others.
Not remembering your real name because all you ever hear is mom, Maaahhm, mom-mom-mom, mommy, MOMMMMMMM or my personal favorite, HEY!
Washing “fuzz” off a plate that you discovered under the dresser while vacuuming up 5 tons of hair and dust bunnies.
Pulling out another 5 tons of hair from the shower drain.
Having a weeks worth of groceries disappear in an hour and a half.
Gross smells coming from the bathroom.
Discovering an entire load of laundry upstairs, after you specifically asked, “Does anyone have any laundry?”
Empty cereal boxes in the cupboard.
Never getting a piece of that homemade pie that you made.
So, when I discovered Breyer’s Sea Salt Caramel Gelato at the grocery store, I knew I had only one option… I was going to hide it and hide it well. I arrived home to a full house of people and knew I had to act fast. I grabbed the bag with the gelato, tucked it under my coat and made a beeline for the basement freezer where I buried it behind a pork roast, some frozen blueberries and a few pounds of bacon. I wasn’t taking any chances because I wasn’t about to share – I was going to eat all the gelato by myself. I deserved it – especially after the fuzzy plate incident.
And then I waited… until midnight. I snuck the gelato into the only room in the house that has a lock on the door – the bathroom. Don’t judge me.
In the dim glow of the bathroom nightlight, I sat on the edge of the tub with my big spoon and carton of gelato, and relished every spoonful.