Unlike many of my friends, I have never fretted over becoming a year older. I seamlessly transitioned from one year to the next without a bump in the birthday road. I aspired to the thought that age is just a number and nothing more, and so, my 50th birthday came and went without much vexation.…
Rule 1: Do not complain that the barn “stinks.” Poop smells. You know it… I know it… even the cows know it.
In my neck of the woods, we’re used to snow… and lots of it. We’re used to biting winds and grey skies. We’re used to slippery back roads. We’re used to frozen fingers and frostbitten noses. We’re used to plowing the barnyard with the tractor at 2am and chiseling frozen cow sh*t from the barn…
Every year, around the middle of December, in a snow covered field along a quiet country road, a little Christmas tree decorated with a tin foil star and a lone red ornament appears. At sunset, a solar battery powers a single strand of white Christmas lights that shine brightly in the darkness of the surrounding…
Lately, I’ve lost my shit. And it seems to be ALL over. And try as I might, I can’t get my shit together. Just when I have most of it scooped up and in a bucket and I think I’m on the verge of getting my shit together… the bucket springs a leak, and then…
Me: It’s huge. It’s too big. STOP! The Farmer: You wanted it. Me: I didn’t think it was this freakin’ big. The Farmer: Just push it in and stop complaining. Me: I’m not complaining! I just don’t think it’s gonna slide in easy. The Farmer: Just give it a good shove. Me: You’re stronger… you…
Understanding the Meno-pocalypse Hot Flash in 10 easy steps
Here’s the story… It’s April 20th and it’s still snowing in my neck of the woods. Not flurries, but measurable S.N.O.W. Enough snow that school was delayed. Enough snow to cover the green spring grass. Enough snow that the animals said screw this sh*t and wouldn’t come out of the barn today. April has been a…
When, during the course of my trial, the prosecution asks why I did it… please make sure the jury sees this photo.
… and watch the sun turn purple pink
I am happy out here. Messy hair, dirty feet and wild water on my skin. Out here with the wild things; this is where I belong. – Brooke Hampton
I officially quit winter! If you need to find me… I will be drunk, somewhere on a tropical beach, wearing nothing but sunscreen.
Nor’easter #3 brought frigid temperatures and high winds, but thankfully, only about eight inches of snow this time. Schools once again closed and the plows spent most of the day running back and forth along the roads clearing the snow drifts. Since it’s no use trying to fight Mother Nature, I decided to embrace the…
Another Nor’easter rages outside my window. The winds are howling, the snow is falling and the temperature is dropping. Oh, how I’d rather be mowing hay in the summer sunshine!
In my neck of the woods, snowstorms are a common occurrence. Six inches of snow is just a dusting. Twelve inches of snow is a nuisance. Eighteen inches of snow is a slight inconvenience. Even a Nor’easter that dumps twenty inches of snow and knocks out the power for a few days is taken in…
There’s only so much sand in the hourglass…
So don’t grow up so fast
Harumph
After weeks and weeks of subzero temperatures, ice, sleet and howling snowstorms, we all had our fingers crossed that Mr. Punxsutawney Phil would give us hope with his annual prognostication. Instead, that nefarious rodent dashed all our early spring dreams and handed down a sentence of another six weeks of winter. And to ensure his…
We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls. – Mother Teresa
Let’s face it… I have more of a chance of getting hit by a bolt of lightning while tap dancing on the barn roof, than I do of keeping any New Year’s resolutions. So this year, I’m going to be practical and set the bar low for myself and my family…real, real low. 2018 FAMILY…
