Switzerland has weather sniffers. Punxsutawney has Phil. Around here, we have the Old Timer up the road who has a cat name Mr. Sh*thead and hates everyone. Unlike our local weatherman, the Old Timer up the road can accurately predict the weather most of the time, without the use of high-tech gizmos and gadgets. He relies on his aching knees, homemade barometer and signs provided by nature.

The other night, a beautiful halo formed around the full moon. According to the Old Timer, a ring around the moon in the winter means that inclement weather is moving in and snow (or rain if it’s warm enough) will soon be falling.

Science tells us that this “lunar halo” is formed when light interacts with water suspended in mid-air. The Old Timer up the road doesn’t listen to any of that “weatherman bullsh*t” and relies on what his daddy taught him before “all these stupid asses on the television started making too much money by looking at a friggin’ computer screen that can’t predict nothing.” Well, I can’t argue with him. Many hay-days have gone down in flames due to those stupid asses.

“Snow is coming. Gotta find my shovel,” the Old Timer mumbled as he gave Mr. Sh*thead a pat on the head. Once again, he was right and by morning there was a light covering of snow on the ground.

Old Timer: 5,342 – Weatherman Bullsh*t: 0